10:14 PM // 213.CLI.10
Current Mood: Happy!
Listening to: MDMA - Queen for a Moment

Hey, so I decided to start writing a Blog! I don't really know much about keeping a Blog, but I really, really, really wanted to start one! I just have a lot of things to talk about but not many people to talk to. It's just me and my mom out here in the middle of nowhere.

I recently got a small little personal computer that I can use to make these updates. I don't know much about Electronics, but they're pretty nifty, huh?

I'm not too sure what to Blog about, actually. Maybe music? It's been ten years since my mom lent her old guitar to me. I guess that means I've had it since I was a young teen. I think daily practice has honed me a good bit! :D Not that there's much to do with it. My fingers are calloused from playing but it can be a little discouraging when you have no one to perform for.

Speaking of performing, I finally got a little TV that I hooked up in my bedroom that can grab some of those ion rays or however they transfer video over the air and stuff! Sometimes I'll see my favorite band, MDMA, and even though the reception is bad and I have to fiddle with the satellite out back a lot, I still get to hear their music and watch them play. It's kinda weird because it's super staticky and like, kinda hard to make out? The colours are warped and whatnot. It's not like that with some bands. Most of my favorites are distorted like that, though. But still, I get to hear their music!! And maybe it's live?! I can't really tell.

I took a picture of my room where you can see a little bit of a performance on TV. It kinda fuzzed up right as I clicked the shutter... But it's still cool! This was from a concert of The Tumbling Rocks, which was super wild and energetic. I love them.

I don't know! It's awesome!!! Technology is sooo amazing. I don't know how we lived without it for so long! Mom's unusually bossy about it though. She used to be laid-back about most things but she's enforcing a stricter curfew between me and the TV. She doesn't like it when I lose sleep to catch a musical performance. We both need to wake up early to get things done before the heat of the day, so I understand her concern for my sleep, but it drives me crazy! How many songs have I not heard because of our old-fashioned schedule and lifestyle?!

I shouldn't be that selfish, though... She's the reason I have housing right now, after all.

9:22 PM // 140.CLI.11
Current Mood: Conflicted...
Listening to: The What - My Contemporaries

Maybe I should be selfish.

There's a sort of monotony to doing the same thing every day. Sometimes we'll have to bring out a tarp to cover the garden so that the weather doesn't injure the crops, and sometimes we'll go through a heavy drought and we'll have to ration water for cooking and cleaning as well as irrigation, but when it comes down to it, it's really just farming every day. It's peaceful, but, I dunno!!! I'm getting bored.

I asked Mom how she doesn't get bored and she just said "Peace is exciting at my age." But... I'm not her age!!! I can't appreciate it if that's the case!!!

Sometimes on the TV there will be interviews with musicians and bands where they talk about how they got their big break, or how they met, stuff like that. I've noticed that a lot of them started around my age... or even earlier. They just went out into the world with their instruments and played and found their voices.

I admire that. I really want to myself sometimes. I'm just afraid to abandon the life I have now. I mean, yeah, it's pretty boring, but it's also all I know. Back in school some of my classmates talked about relocating to the city, and that's a recurring topic in the interviews I've seen as well, but... am I really up to that? I'm decent at playing the guitar, but could I ever just start a completely new life? Leaving Mom behind...?

I dunno. Man, this blog was meant for me to update about fun things but I ended up getting all wound up about my life. Typically I try to feel things through my guitar, but with a Blog, I use text rather than noise. And I just don't really know text all that well. Heck, my house had a typewriter up until Mom splurged on this Lap-Top. At school (not that I've been to school in years), there was one clunky computer for our whole class, and other kids really wanted to use it, so I didn't get much experience with Technology.

Everything's so new. Maybe that's why I can't stop typing? AHHAHAhAHA. Oh, wait, the performance on TV right now is of a band I've never heard of! The display is super crisp, too. I'm gonna go watch that. Later!

12:07 AM // 140.CLI.13
Current Mood: Good!
Listening to: Superbitch - Farewell Acquaintance

I've thought about it a bit more and, you know what? I think I do want to start a new life. This one is fun, but some of my favorite artists set out on their journeys as early as in their teens! In that regard, I almost feel like I'm too late... But better late than never, as they say.

I'm still a bit unclear on the logistics, though. Like I said, Mom and I sorta live out in the middle of nowhere. She's not keen on me going anywhere so I can't ask her for help. I've thought about going into town and maybe asking the record shop owner for advice, but she and Mom are close, and that could lead to her tattling on me.

But, wait, do I really want to keep this a secret from Mom? I've lived with her all my life and I owe almost everything to her. It's really cruddy of me to just throw that all away for my own desires.

But I also haven't seen any musicians that got where they are while staying home and tending to the farm...

Oh, earlier today, I took a picture while Mom was making dinner. It's the only way to really get a shot of her. She doesn't like cameras. Or, well, she doesn't like having pictures taken of her. Maybe it was rude to take this... but I want to keep it as a fond memory!

Oh, and the band I saw the other day? I didn't catch their name (or maybe I did and I just forgot) but they were COOL!!! They were kind of a punk rock trio, although some of their songs made it sound like they were meant to be a quartet. Like, not the lyrics, but the music itself felt like a fraction was missing. I don't really know how to explain it. When it comes down to it, only one guitar, drums, and vocalist can make a pretty barebones group. I'd love to contribute my skill to a band like them. I might be in demand!

...I mean, I'm not, but it'd be cool if I were.

In between performances, there was an announcement of sorts for a competition taking place in the City. I think it was something like Hello Bobcat? High Tide Door Mite? I can't really remember, but it was like a battle of the bands sort of thing, and... well.

I've missed out on a lot by staying home all this time, and I feel like this is my calling. This is my chance to go and BE someone.

I want to enter the Hellcry Bone Pipe.

12:41 AM // 140.CLI.14
Current Mood: Determined again!
Listening to: Nothing -- I've put away my records!

I'm ready.

Yesterday, I spoke a little to the record shop owner, but I was vague so hopefully she didn't catch on and won't blab to my Mom. She showed me how my house is effectively a straight shot from the city, the only thing in between is a long stretch of land. She said I'd be crazy to cross it on foot, but I don't have a vehicle, so I have to be crazy.

I don't like just ABANDONING Mom without any warning, so I wrote her a little note in advance. I looked up some different landscaping services that she can call if she needs help on the farm. Some I found in the phonebook and others I found when discussing matters at the farmers' market. There's several for her to call, and my being gone means one less mouth to feed, so she should be able to pay for a service like that easily.

I also let her know that I know what I'm doing, I'll be safe, I'll be careful, and that she doesn't need to worry about me. She's probably going to be mad at me more than anything, though...

I'm leaving her this on the kitchen counter. I also recorded a little song where I sing about how I will not be putting myself in danger and everything is fine. Played my guitar for it. I guess it's technically my first performance! My first LP!

Anyway, I'm serious! Please, Mom, if you've found my Blog: don't worry! I won't be an idiot and I won't get in trouble! I'll use my guitar for what it's made for and I'll turn some hearts around in their cages!

battery low
no internet
12:41 AM // 213.CLI.14